Don’t “Hang in there!”

Whenever you or anyone else tells you to “Hang in there!” it is because you and they see the current moment in your life as bad or difficult.  Yet, it is not the moment that is bad; it is the perception of the moment as bad that is creating your feelings of difficulty.  Labeling something as bad and then staying in proximity to it is antithetical to rational thinking.  Enduring bad times is actually an act of insanity.

Turn your attention as fast as you can to finding what is valuable or blessed, educational or enlightening in the moment, just as it is.  Actively look for what you are gaining by being right where you are, doing exactly what you are doing.  And, when you find that benefit, however small in comparison to everything else in this moment, put all of your attention on that benefit and say to yourself, over and over, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Put all your heart into feeling gratitude and your perception will very soon change.  You will begin to see what else is valuable in this moment.  And your awareness will expand to reveal the truth that life is always getting better and better, and you are getting better and better with it.

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Refreshing Your Emotions

This is a game to reacquaint you with the natural sensations your body feels when you are experiencing desired and welcome emotions.  Every emotional state has its accompanying physiological responses. When you are consciously aware of how your feet feel, your heart feels, your hands and head and stomach feel when you are in a certain emotional state, the richer that state will be.

Many people are readily aware of and attentive to sensations that accompany unpleasant emotions – the tight stomach when we are frightened, the tense back when we are angry, and the aching head when we are worried.  However, sometimes we don’t actually experience as vividly or pay as much attention to what our bodies are sensing when we are feeling emotions we consider good and welcome.

The Refreshing Your Emotions Game is intended to wake up and enrich this awareness.  Two immediate benefits are that you can again richly feel the good and welcome emotion as it is happening.  Also, if you know what pleasant bodily sensations accompany those good feelings, you can actually invite your body parts to experience those sensations which can activate the desired emotional state.

And, there is a third and perhaps most thrilling benefit you will find when you play this game.  I’ll leave that aha! for you to discover.

In preparation to play this game, sit in a comfortable chair in a quiet place with a pen or pencil and a pad of paper or stack of 3×5 cards nearby. Read the following list of words naming emotions.  Mark the ones that you would like to feel more intensely. Of those you marked, select the most compelling five emotions and note these on a card or page in your pad of paper.

Now, take a deep breath and allow your body to relax.  Close your eyes and imagine experiencing the first emotion you wrote down.  Make up a scene in your imagination where you are experiencing that emotion richly.  Imagine feeling it as fully as you can.  Take another deep breath and double that feeling.  And again.  Take another breath and feel the emotion doubling again.

Now, begin to scan your body from the soles of your feet to the top of your head.  With your mind, slowly scan upwards from the floor noticing which body parts feel this emotion most profoundly.  Notice exactly what the specific pleasurable sensation is in each body part.  Is it a sense of warmth or a cool stimulation?  Is it a pulsation of energy?  Is it a tingling?  Do you feel a gentle softness or powerful firmness in a certain muscle group? Can you “hear” a sound or tone from some region of your body?  Does some part feel more fluid, agile or flexible?  Do you feel an excitement like electricity anywhere?  Keep scanning upward from the floor to the top of your head, just noting which parts of you are sensing this emotion and exactly what those sensations are.

Now, when you are through scanning upward, gently open your eyes. Consider the sensations you feel in five specific places on your body while you experience this desirable emotion. On the pad or cards you have set nearby, write a phrase or sentence noting each of these body parts and describing the sensation that part feels.  Once you have done this, close your eyes again and replay the experience, this time by simply putting your attention sequentially on each of those five body parts and allowing them to feel the sensations you have just described.

Do this for each emotion you have written down.  Doing this with five emotions will take you about half an hour and is sufficient for one sitting.  Now, as you go on with your day, from time to time, direct your mind to recreate these bodily sensations and notice how that reawakens the associated emotional state.

A further objective is to identify 31 emotions and their accompanying bodily sensations.  Once you have done this, link one emotion to each day of the month. For example: the first day of each month could be the day you dwell on experiencing ”fascinated,”  the second day could be “enthusiastic,” the third day “compassionate,” and so on. This will give you a month of welcome emotions to practice and enjoy to their fullest extent.

 Now, when you go to sleep tonight, if you are still awake after you have turned out the light and put your head on your pillow, use this hypnagogic time to review these emotional states.  Allow yourself to fall into sleep as the parts of your body savor all of these natural and pleasurable sensations.

  1. Accepting

2.      Affection

3.      Allowing

4.      Amused

5.      appreciation

6.      Appreciative

7.      authentic

8.      autonomous

9.      awake

10.  aware

11.  beautiful

12.  belonging

13.  blissful

14.  calm

15.  centered

16.  charmed

17.  clear

18.  closeness

19.  comfortable

20.  communion

21.  companionable

22.  Compassion

23.  competent

24.  Confident

25.  connected

26.  conscious

27.  considerate

28.  content

29.  contented

30.  cooperative

31.  creative

32.  Delighted

33.  Eager

34.  ease

35.  ecstatic

36.  effective

37.  elated

38.  empathy

39.  enchanted

40.  enlivened

41.  enthralled

42.  enthusiastic

43.  equanimous

44.  exhilarated

45.  exploring

46.  expressive

47.  exuberant

48.  Fascinated

49.  Fascinating

50.  free

51.  Friendly

52.  fulfilled

53.  Glad

54.  Glorious

55.  good humored

56.  Grateful

57.  Happy

58.  harmonious

59.  honest

60.  Hope-filled

61.  inclusive

62.  independent

63.  inspired

64.  integrated

65.  Interested

66.  intimate

67.  Joyful

68.  joyous

69.  jubilant

70.  Lively

71.  Loving

71a. Loveable

71b. Loved

72.  Magnanimous

73.  mellow

74.  nurturing

75.  Open

76.  Optimistic

77.  Passionate

78.  peaceful

79.  playful

80.  pleased

81.  poised

82.  Proud

83.  purposeful

84.  quiet

85.  radiant

86.  rapturous

87.  refreshed

88.  receptive

89.  rejuvenated

90.  relaxed

91.  relieved

92.  renewed

93.  respectful

94.  rested

95.  restored

96.  revived

97.  Safe

98.  Satisfied

99.  serene

100.  spontaneous

101.  stable

102.  still

103.  Stimulated

104.  supportive

105.  Tender

106.  Thankful

107.  tranquil

108.  trusting

109.  understanding

110.  Vibrant

111.  Warm

112.  Welcome

113.  Welcoming

114.  Willing

 

 

 

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Questioning Your Mind — from Worrying to Creative Imagining

Updated from November 15, 2010

For years, as soon as I woke up, my mind would leap into worry. Whether it was after the alarm clock rang in the morning or in the middle of the night.  My mind would immediately begin to worry about people with whom I was out of harmony, impending events that I considered daunting or projects with looming deadlines.

I dreaded waking up and falling immediately into worry so much, that, as sleep approached in the evening, I would begin worrying about waking up the following morning to a worried mind.  My body would tense, my stomach ache, my heart would feel torn to shreds.  I came to expect and endure the sensation of my entire night’s rest lost and replaced by a massive weariness.

Then, a wonderful new thought occurred to me.  What if my thinking didn’t always have to be worry?  What if my mind was simply eager to do what it was made to do — find answers to the questions I had asked it, to solve the problems I had presented to it?  What if this sense of worry was intended to alert me to the fact that I was asking the wrong questions?

I began to pay attention to the way I posed concerns to my mind.  What I first discovered was that I rarely asked my mind a question. And that meant, I rarely gave her a chance to be creative and lead me into a more expansive world and life, even though this is the mind’s true purpose.  Instead, what I gave my mind to fix on were hard and fast statements.  Often these were very black and white statements in absolute terms.  Many of them had been said to me or about me by someone else.  And, just as often, these were statements of limitation, borne of fear, guilt or confusion.  Here are some examples:

I am too old to achieve these dreams I’ve been carrying for years.

My companion will leave me, just like the others.

No matter how hard I struggle and strive, I will never get to my goal.

Wealth and true happiness were meant for other people, not me.

No wonder my sweet mind leapt into worrying first thing every day!

Yet, because our minds are the servants of our conscious intentions, my mind did what she was built to do: she looked high and low for proof and ran back to me with heaps of evidence that what I said was true, at least for me.

Desiring another way to wake up and live a better, happier life, I first decided to rename and celebrate my mind’s purpose.  I replaced the concept of “worry” with Creative Imagining.  And then, I decided to pose to my mind at night, questions that would guide her to look for evidence of the answers I actually wanted to receive.   So, I gave this some thought and came up with the following questions, which I have written on 3×5 cards and I keep on my nightstand.

About my current situation, what unique, respectful and imaginative contribution will I come up with today?

Where will I look, today, for new answers to old problems?

What skill will I develop or improve today, and how will I use it to great benefit and satisfaction?

Who will I see in a brighter, more loving light today?

When, today, will I feel even better than yesterday?

What exciting new contribution will I give to the world today?

In what ways will I feel more alive, happy, and thankful today?

There are three ways to use these cards.

The first way has been used by many great people who sought answers in their sleep.  Among these people were Henry Ford and Thomas Edison.  This method begins by going to bed and relaxing as much as possible.  Using a self-hypnotic relaxation induction is a wonderful way to begin.  This will put you into a state receptive to deep sleep, called the hypnagogic state, where your mind will deeply consider the ideas you are thinking while you fall asleep.  As you drift off, simply ask your mind two or three times, one of these questions, feeling confident that the answers you seek will be found and told to you the next day.

The second method is to use what is called the hypnopompic state, that dreamy, drowsy time just as you are waking up.  Just as you are opening your eyes, reach for the 3×5 cards with the seven questions on them.  Now, you can read the first one and simply let that be your question for the day, or, if you wish, read through the cards until one speaks a little louder to you than the others.  It doesn’t really matter how you decide which card to contemplate.  Simply select one.  Then, after you’ve read it, close your eyes for a few more minutes, breathe deeply and relax.  Today, you will experience one or more answers to this question.  Feel just how knowing this increases your interest and eagerness about getting out of bed and moving into this day.

However, mornings had been the time when I used to be so troubled by worries.  And, in the beginning, the old pattern of my mind leaping to confirm a statement of limitation was still present and sometimes caused distraction.  This is why, especially at first, I prefer the first method.

The third way to use these questions is to carry one or two of the cards with you every day.  At various times, take out a card and read the question.  If you can, combine the reading with a moment of relaxation.  However, it can also be profitable to review the question while walking to the office, walking to class or walking your dog.  In these instances, look around you to see if the answer to that question is showing up right in front of you at that very moment.

Now, as I wake into a brand new dawn, I help direct the energy, talent and wisdom of my sweet mind toward welcome solutions.  I realize that with a proper invitation, my mind will look as eagerly for creative solutions as it had looked for worries.

This simple shift from from worry to Creative Imagining by replacing statements of limitation with questions of expanding possibility have made a fantastic difference in my life.  I invite you to give it a test.

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Game #10 LEARNING TO LOVE FROM PARTS OF YOU

When you wake up in the morning, and as you become aware of this new day, breathe in… breathe out…..

Feel your body supported on the bed, and become aware of the unity of this body, this body that is truly a unity, a community of numerous features, hundreds of parts, and trillions of cells.

Scanning your body, now, select one body part toward which you wish to send a flow of conscious love. This part could be anywhere on your body, some part that already loves you with so much devotion that it has been doing its designated function for years, and probably without calling much attention to itself.

This part, like all the other parts, is simply doing what it gets to do to serve your life — showing you by its very nature what true love is. And so, you could choose any one of your dozen organs or any one of your three trillion cells, all of them are here doing the very best they can do to keep you well and able to move about in time and space, in your fine and amazing life. Each and every one of them, loving you. So, simply pick one or let one part call out to you for selecting.

Now, Breathe in…. and draw that breath directly to that body part, allowing the refreshing new breath of oxygen to saturate that part with health. Now, as you continue to breathe in…  and breathe out…, continue to send oxygen and gratitude to that body part.

Once you feel that body part filled with healthful oxygen, ask that it guide you this day with its love. Then, over and over through the day just let the love thriving in that part of you guide your actions and, if you can, allow that love to guide your thoughts, too.

To help you visualize clearly what I mean, say that you have chosen your dominant hand as the part for today. Each time you reach for something, breathe in sweet oxygen to that hand and simply notice how, left to its own intentions, that hand will move more elegantly through space, it will touch things with more care, and touch you and other people with tenderness.

Allow this to happen. Feel the gentle river of loving intention flow through you as it flows through this body part and into the world. And when you are ready, when your awareness of what this part does to enrich your experience of life, with conscious intention send your love back to that part.

Enjoy this game. Let these members of your body enjoy your consciously given love. These truly are your life-long friends. And they continually re-member themselves with new cells over and over and over for your whole long life, millions, billions, trillions of cells, eager to live their entire lives as parts of You. Feel this. And accept their love for you.

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Game #29 A MILLION – FREE AND CLEAR

One of the most joy-destroying mindsets we can have is to believe ourselves poor.  And, yet, the idea of poverty is always founded on comparison between our current state and
either another state we have created in imagination or, more often, someone else’s state.  Comparison is definitely the fastest way out of Heaven or any hope of grounded self-appreciation.

It is never the differing conditions that are a problem – for the world is obviously big enough to encompass all possible states and activities and conditions and people, simply because it does.  The problem arises when the mind gets caught in comparison and the person feels compelled to assign relative value to things and people.

Yet, for the most part, we and things just are.  No need to say what is better what is worse, what is good what is bad, what has intrinsic value and what doesn’t.  For, in the end, no matter how strident our arguments and how convinced we become, the truth is, we are
all different, with different desires and on different paths and comparing does nothing to change this.  It only casts the comparison-troubled mind out of the Heaven possible for those who simply go about their own happy, productive and prosperous lives.

The good news is, since this is essentially a state of mind, it is in mind where we can find resolution and return, again, to our natural relationship with who we are and what we have, which is in balance, acceptance and eagerness to enjoy what is in us and for us, here and now.

And, it is always from this point that your finest new ideas for growth and expansion come – never from the grasping, drowning terror of believing you have too little.

Breathe in……  Breathe out……

To begin this mind-liberating game, which in turn will open your awareness to the absolute abundance that surrounds and fills you now, simply relax and

Breathe in……  Breathe out……

Now, in your imagination, line up all your family and friends and everyone you are currently involved with. This involvement can be coworkers, people you see every day at the bus stop in the dry cleaners or the hardware store.

Place these people in a line, shoulder to shoulder and facing you.  In the hands of each person put a check. Each check is for one million dollars and, in the lower left corner of each check, the words, “Free and Clear” are written.  Each check is drawn from the account of the person holding it, and each one is made out to you.

Breathe in……  Breathe out……

Now, walk from one end of this lineup of people to the other. Look into the eyes of the giver and say “Thank you,” as you accept each check.

Notice what your thoughts are about the giver and how you feel as you accept each check. Notice if you decline or refuse to accept the check.

If you refuse the check, stay standing in front of that person until the check transforms into something you are willing to accept from that person.  Notice if you refuse to accept anything from that person.  Then, notice what thoughts you have that incite that refusal. Is the thought about how you don’t think he/she can afford to give something/anything
to you?  Or is the thought about how you will not accept anything from that person because you prefer to sustain an opinion/judgment about that person being an awful person who cannot be good enough to give anything? Will you have to redefine your own story about that person and accepting a gift will force you to do that?

Continue on down the line of people accepting these checks being offered to you while you consider how much, right now, is being held out to you for the taking, “free and clear.”

TWO BONUS BENEFITS –

BONUS BENEFIT #1

In your imagination, line up all the people you can imagine who have contributed to all the things in your current life.  Here’s a partial list:  The growers, pickers, packers, shippers,
truck drivers, and grocery clerks who grew, packed, transported, and sold you the food in your cupboard. (And, if you grew some of that food, then you can add to this line of people in your imagination, all of the agronomists, farmers, and gardening store owners who supplied you with the seeds, the plant soil and various nutrients, and the gardening tools.  Now, add to this line of people the assembly plant workers, the designers, the salesmen, the machinists and everyone else who made your car, your bicycle, and the bus you ride in.  Add now the programmers, who created every piece of software necessary for every electronic device you use, add the skilled assemblers of these devices and the legions of unskilled laborers who work in mines, excavating and carrying the basic elements necessary to produce each of these items (which for most of them will be forever beyond their reach luxuries).  And, for good measure, at the end of the line, add all the professionals whose work results in countless features of ease for you – pharmacists who mix the pills you take to stay well; engineers who design and build the roads you travel on; architects who design the safe structures you live and work in; and every person who gets up and goes to work to contribute his and her share to the Gross National Product.

Now, begin at one end of this line and walk from person to person.  Stop in front of each
one, look into his or her eyes and see vividly what this person has done or is doing right now to make your life better, extend your right hand and say, “Thank you, you are doing a fine job.”

Just like the primary Million — Free and Clear game, notice where you stop yourself from eagerly thanking this person.  And, again, notice that this stopping is happening in your head, and so this is where the magic of healing can happen.  Just notice and know that in the noticing is born the resolution, without effort on your part.

BONUS BENEFIT #2

If you would like to enter even further the state of unity and delight in being one of the many on the planet, then play the following game.

This time you are going to imagine a line of people whose lives have benefitted from your being on the planet.  Often, in the deathly unkind mindset of comparison, we can see others as valuable, but ourselves as not.  So, in this game, begin imagining now the
people whose day today was added to because you were in it.  You might begin with the last person you cooked for, stepped aside on the sidewalk for, held a door for.  Add the last person you bought something from – someone who had a product to sell.  From there, let the line grow.  Add the last person you smiled at, the last person you said thank you to, your landlord who depends on you to pay the rent.  Add the person whose business runs better because you work there; add the recipient of the product or service who receives the results of your talents and knowhow.  Add the journalist of the last news article you read, the TV producer whose show you watched, the movie-maker whose picture you paid to see.  Notice how the line keeps growing as you recognize your place among the family of
man.  Unless you live all by yourself in the forest, you are always weaving your life with others into the tapestry of Life.

Now, go from person to person along this line up and say, “You are welcome.”  Whether these people have ever said “Thank you,” to you, their lives are still better because you are here on the planet with them.

And, if you are still drawn into the experience of comparing yourself to others, remember the words of world famous Hypnotist and Showman Ormond McGill, “Celebrate the successful for they show us what is possible.”

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Game #31 BIRD TO BIRD TO BIRD (from BEFRIENDING YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DIE)

Sit down in a comfortable place with a view of landscape visited by birds.  Sitting in the open air would be ideal, for then more of the birds’ realm will be visible to you.

Now, take a few relaxing breaths and, gently, casually glancing around, notice a bird.  Any bird.  Now, simply keep your eyes on that bird until its flight path is crossed by another bird.  Or, if the bird you begin watching is stationary and is passed by a bird flying by, shift your attention to the flying bird.  Keep your eyes on that bird until its path is crossed
by yet another bird.  Or, if it flies past a stationary bird, shift your attention to the third, stationary bird.

Keep doing this without any particular need to label the birds or pay any particular attention to the color or size or behavior of the birds.  Simply allow your attention to go from bird to bird to bird.

After a while, say 10 or so birds, notice your breathing, how easy and comfortable it probably is.  Then, notice how giving a moment’s attention to your breathing took your attention away from the bird you were looking at.  And this is just fine.  Simply refocus your attention on the bird or, if that one has flown, find another bird to look at and begin the game again.

After a while, say 10 birds or so, notice how comfortable and relaxed your feet feel, or maybe even the entire lower half of your body.  Do you still see the bird?

Just like paying attention to these birds, the ideas suggested to you by other people or the various media around you snag your attention only until the next thought flies by and
grabs it away.

With birds, however, there is no hidden agenda, no product to buy or party to join.  You are paying attention to life in its purest form and, as you have noticed, when you pay attention to life, without an agenda, your body relaxes and you feel an unexpected and pleasant comfort just being yourself.

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Game #39 Course Correction

For many people, at various points in life, the desire for a change feels very strong. Sometimes, this desired change takes the form of a change in behavior. In this case, a most useful first step is to heighten ones awareness of the current condition, since often we live in our customary behaviors as though we are sleepwalkers in a dream.

A fine and simple way of taking this first step is to get a palm-sized notepad. This, could, of course, be a smart phone or PDA device, although I find the physical act of writing awakens more senses to the action being taken. Along with the notepad, keep any and all sorts of writing devices at hand in the rooms and other locations you usually occupy.

Once the behavior being considered for modification has been selected, take a deep and confirming breath and write the behavior at the top of the first page, like this: CONSIDER THIS BEHAVIOR:________ Then, choose from the following, or insert your own. FINANCIAL/EATING/THINKING/GOSSIPING/SLEEPING/SELF VALUING/SELF-APPRECIATION

Then, below, put CURRENT ACTIONS and DATE/TIME

Now, on the first few lines, write your first four actions:

1. Considered this game worth playing

2. Created BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION DOCUMENT

3. Selected _______________ as behavior to consider modifying

4. Entered first four actions in this list – I am embarking on a fine journey here!

Now, enter the corresponding dates and times of day, take another deep and gratifying breath, and go out into this glorious day.

Throughout the day, whenever you do anything at all that in any way whatsoever relates to the chosen behavior, enter a few words that will remind you what action you took, plus the day and time.

Keep this behavior log with you for a week, entering as many related actions as you can, as soon after you take the action as possible.

After a week, sit in a quiet place with the notebook, or your Smartphone/PDA in your lap. Breathe in …. Breathe Out…. Now, before even looking at the log of actions you have been keeping, just look inwardly for a moment or two and ask yourself, “How do I feel about this behavior now?” and, “What do I feel for myself practicing this behavior now?” Give your mind a few minutes to answer this and, you may well find yourself pleasantly surprised. For many people, they experience a softening of judgment toward themselves and an acceptance that, up until now, the action has done them a service in one way or another. In addition, it is possible to feel the desire to modify the action, even while holding these appreciative and accepting thoughts. Just like a person can accept the coolness that comes with a summer thundershower while also looking forward to the next day’s clear sky and sunshine.

Now, with gentle attention, begin to scan down your list of actions. You will surely notice many things. First, you may notice how often you choose the behavior, whatever it is, as a substitute for some other action you hesitate to take. For example, a person who shops a lot might have noted making purchases when he’d really wanted to fix his fence. Or, a person postponed writing her screenplay by composing emails to friends instead.

Second, watch for other times when you made a familiar action substitute for a more desirable or pleasurable activity, i.e. Staring at a TV rerun instead of taking yourself out to an interesting new movie; buying half a dozen cheap blouses instead of investing the same money in the one truly desired blouse at a more expensive store; and, the most well-known, eating a dozen carrots as substitute for the pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Yet, read on. It wouldn’t surprise me that at some point in the week, you did wind up taking the preferred action, too. Or, if not, the urge has just grown even stronger inside your mind.

Finally, check the times you noted. At which times of the day do you find yourself taking the less appealing actions, the ones you truly feel drawn to modify? This is valuable because you can then practice the following steps at or near these times of day to amplify their power to help the modification you desire.

Now, start a new page, and at the top write: MODIFYING THIS BEHAVIOR: ________________

Under that put MODIFIED ACTIONS and DATE/TIME

Now, on the first line, write your first four actions:

1. Confirmed to myself that this game is still worth playing

2. Reviewed the information on last week’s BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION page

3. Decided to experiment with easy modifications of the Chosen Behavior

4. Entered these first four actions in this list – I am embarking on a fine journey here!

Now, again, gently allow your conscious attention to notice when you take any action related to the behavior, however tangential or momentary. What you may notice, initially, is that the modified action is more inside than outside. Say, “Eating” is your chosen behavior. This week, when you choose to eat an extra sweet or have a second helping, you may notice that, though the food type or the portion size may seem the same, the change is in how you allow yourself more enjoyment. This is the modification you will put in your notebook. Remember to add the date and time.

Continue doing this for the next week.

At the end of the week, again go to a quiet place to contemplate, review, and celebrate, all of the ways you have already redirected the trajectory of your behavior. Using no force, no coercion, no punishment, no threats; not even attempting to bribe yourself, you have begun to implement the modifications you alone desire, effortlessly. The simple steps are: step One – confer with yourself about to select the behavior you feel ready to modify; step Two – commit to observing and logging, for one week, exactly how you do that behavior (and when); step Three – review your week’s records; step Four – observe and log how your are modifying that behavior in the following week; and – The most important – step Five – Review, acknowledge and celebrate how the simple engagement of desire, commitment and observation do effortlessly cause the course correction you had hoped for.

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Game #38 Remembering Who You Really Are

This game was created to let you remember who you really are and how you feel when you’re at your best. The game takes 10 minutes. It’s good to disconnect any other stimulus of phones, TV or the internet during the game. However, to play in the background a favorite piece of instrumental music may enhance your experience. Try it with and without.

  1. Sit or lie down in a place where you won’t be disturbed for the next 10 minutes. (If you like, you may set a timer to relieve your mind of any need to monitor the clock. After a few days, you will discover that you know without such a reminder when the 10 minutes is up.) When you are comfortable, inhale slowly, pause, and then exhale even more slowly. Do this two or three times until your body feels relaxed and at ease. Now, close your eyes and continue breathing normally.
  2. Now, imagine seeing a person begin to materialize in front of you. As the person comes more and more clearly into view, notice that this person is a version of you. And, as the image becomes clearer, notice that this is an image of your ideal self, that person of measureless worth and value whom you know still lives at the heart of who you are. Study the details of this person as he or she forms more solidly before you. Notice the posture, the clothes, the sense of easy confidence, and the expression on her or his face. As you look, notice your breathing, and if you’ve been slightly holding your breath during this observation, just pause, and take another deep and relaxing breath.
  3. Now, return your attention to your ideal self and appreciate that he or she is wonderful in every way. (If you notice other thoughts coming to mind, thoughts like, ‘this is silly,’ or ‘what good will this do?’ or ‘I could never be like that,’ just let them float away as you continue to recognize the wonderful qualities of your ideal self. This game is about reprogramming your unconscious mind so that you will think of yourself in a better way. So, gently put aside critical or questioning thoughts for now, and proceed.)
  4. Continue to study this image, projected from your mind right into the room with you. Keep appreciating the aspects of this wonderful version of yourself, the way you stand, your natural style, the vibe you give off. Let yourself imagine, too, the way this ideal self acts and speaks.
  5. Now, imagine taking the few steps between your current self and this imagined self. Once you are right next to him or her, pause, take another deep and relaxing breath and notice what you feel in your heart for this person. Now, simply step right into this ideal version of yourself. Easily, comfortably feel the way this you feels, move slightly, so that you have a physical sense of action, the way this you acts. Now, look around, seeing the room through the eyes of this you, your ideal self.
  6. Just stay here for a few minutes, moving a little bit this way and that, feeling how good it is to be the person you like, the person you admire, the person you have known all these years is your true self. Here, in the privacy of your own home and your own imagination, feel as much of this goodness you can right now, being this you.
  7. Now, imagine being like this and feeling like this more and more every day. Know, now, how great this is as you accept how long you have really deserved this experience. See this self and feel this self in your familiar situations and in different situations, all the time feeling relaxed, confident and all the other qualities of your ideal self.
  8. When the 10 minutes is up, take another deep and relaxing breath before opening your eyes. Then, gently open your eyes and notice what you see. You may be surprised to find yourself in your original sitting or lying down position and no longer inside your ideal self. In many cases, this experiment is so real that some people are surprised to find they are not facing the room from their ideal self’s perspective. Even though a bit disorienting, this can be a very confirming sensation, for it demonstrates the power of your imagination to move you into the experiences you desire.
  9. Give yourself this gift of connection with your ideal self by repeating this game again tomorrow.
  10. Do this for the next 21 days. Well before the first week is over, you may notice how many of the behaviors and aspects of this ideal self have effortlessly begun to express themselves through you in your regular day to day affairs.
BONUS BENEFIT
In order to benefit most richly from this game, on a piece of paper, make an x-y chart. On the x axis, put “day 1”, “day 2”, “day 3”… “day 21.” On the y axis, put the numbers 1 to 10. This number indicates how connected you feel to this ideal self.
Right after every morning’s 10 minute game put a red X at the intersection of the day and the level of your connection with your ideal self. At the end of each day put a green X at the intersection of the day and the level you feel the qualities of your ideal self have been incorporated in your day. You may be pleasantly surprised by how much this game can influence many events in your day, even when it doesn’t feel like it’s doing much in the morning.
At the end of the 21 days, draw a line connecting the red X’s and a line connecting the green X’s. You may well find that the line connecting the green X’s is consistently higher than the line connecting the red X’s. Many people take this as positive and encouraging proof of how influential just a few minutes living in your ideal-self can be on your here and now real-self. May you be among them.
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Game #36 THE ILLUSION OF “Y”

Game #36

THE ILLUSION OF “Y”

Despite what we’ve been taught and the pervasive language patterns which support it, the idea of choice is an illusion.  The divided path only appears when a person falls deaf, blind and dumb to his or her own internally desired way.

When this happens, the ear, the eye and the senses turn outward, leaning into the wind in an attempt to take, and make, meaning from the Babel-intense chorus of the world.  And, always, this seeking for meaning outside oneself is innocently devoid of the recognition that all we can know of life is only that which results from our own past experiences and is projected by our promises to ourselves.

The result of choosing between this and that external model, of taking someone else’s advice or making “their” answer our answer, is that we walk down a road disconnected from our own unique light.  Only the path seen with the inner eye, the direction heard by the inner ear, the sense perceived by the self-appreciating heart will actually ever move us forward.

When we do choose to follow someone else’s way, however, we will be rewarded with an increasing tension.  And, in the absence of forward movement, like water building up behind an earthen dam, the pressure will ultimately break and, once again, our life will flow freely onward.  Yet, it is possible to flow freely without the pain of intolerable pressure and a dramatic breach.  The following gentle communion with oneself is one of the effective ways to enjoy moving onward.

How to Play –

1. When you feel you have a “choice,” write the various options you feel exist on a 3×5 card, writing just a word or two to symbolize each seemingly possible direction.

2. Sit somewhere with your eyes closed and take one minute to play the Come Home! Game from 21 Games for the Mind that Won’t Shut the @#&* Up!

3. Now, imagine paths leading away from where you are right now in the direction of each of your “choices.”  If you have two choices, then you will likely perceive yourself at a “Y” in your road.  Or, if  you’ve written many choices on your card, you may perceive yourself at the center point of paths, as though you are standing at the hub of a wheel with radiating spokes.

4. Now, taking the path that is either directly in front of you or the one that seems closest to your right hand, imagine that you begin walking forward on that path.  As you do this, notice the details along that path, notice the sky, the texture of the path’s surface, the people along the path, the ease or difficulty for you in moving along the path.

5.  Most especially, notice what your emotional response is to being on this path.  As you move further and further along this path, ask yourself the following questions:

“In what specific ways does traveling this path bring me joy?”

“Where in my body is it experiencing pleasure traveling this path?”

“What specific aspects of this path provide satisfaction and the confirmation that I’m using my life’s resources properly and effectively here?”

“With which people on this path do I feel connection?”

“How does going this way confirm that my life has deep and purposeful meaning?”

Either write down the answers to these questions or simply form a clear sense of your emotional state while traveling along this path.

6. Now, play this contemplative game with each of your choices.  In this relaxed state, only one or two minutes of clock time is all you’ll need to contemplate each choice.  In that short span, your imgination can carry you as far down every path as you would like to go.  You will perceive as many rich details as you need in order to get very clear whether this is or is not the way for you now.

As you experience traveling each path, ask yourself the questions in Step 5.  Again, either write down the answers or simply form a clear sense of your emotional state while traveling along this path.

7. Once you have played this game with each “choice,” you will easily recognize that only one is the true way for you to go, right now.

Even though you are free to travel in any of the directions, you have a much clearer idea of which one is the truest for you now.  Although we are forever transforming, growing and blooming, and, thus, what we perceive today will be followed by a more expanded perception tomorrow, we are, nevertheless, on our path today.  Choose, then, the path that nourishes, enlivens and brings you deep joy today.

As always, be gentle with yourself and know, as the Eastern Mystic knew, “You cannot stray, the path bends with your feet.”

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THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD… IS YOURS: 21 Games for Re-Discovering and Staying Yourself in a World of Change

Welcome!

As I come to the final writing stage of the second book in my Games for Your Mind series, I’ve decided to serialize the chapters here.  Although the clearest introduction to a book is often written after the book has finished taking shape, I shall include some introductory material in the beginning to let you, Dear Reader, know where this book is intending to go and what I am intending to share with you.

The idea that we must first change before we can know, have, experience or enjoy something we desire is simply flawed thinking.  That we must struggle, earn, postpone or otherwise deny ourselves the good that we are drawn to is more a myth than even the ubiquitous “Hero’s Journey.”  However, these two myths are inextricably interrelated, as I shall soon show you.

As the poet Mary Oliver writes in the poem Wild Geese (1986):

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

This book, THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD… IS YOURS will invite you to remember the most obvious and simple truths: that you are the first and last friend you will ever have in this life; that regardless of how rich, popular, admirable or successful another person is, you will never be able to occupy anyone else’s experience; and that, lived with acceptance and welcome, your life, the one you are standing in right now, can be the best life you could ever hope to have.

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